i am sobbing and crying out to you Lord...... I give you these 2 AT&T bills..............

I need taht job....please nbe merciful

Hope, because God knows and is in control. 

We've all been in those dark places where we longed to know that we will get through; that we are not alone; that joy will come again. Whatever our hurt, whatever our pain, our raw wounds desperately need the tender healing of Jesus. He is our only Hope-Giver, for He is the One who has crushed Satan. He's the One who whispers true hope to our grieving hearts. 

One day, surrounded by a noisy crowd, Jesus "heard" the desperate touch of a very sick woman. She believed if she could just make contact with the miracle worker's cloak, she would be healed. At the very moment she did, Jesus "realized that power had gone out from him" (Mark 5:30) and did not disregard it. He knew her touch had been filled with both need and faith, so He pronounced complete healing over her. Over and over again we read in the Gospels of Jesus touching those in need, even the leprous "untouchables," and how their bodies responded to Him. 

Jesus touches our deepest need, too. Trust Him, and know the healing of His touch. 

On Sat I read ~~
God is in the business of rebuilding and restoring. 


And I knew it was true.....  during the week I received a check in the mail from WFHC from an audit of mum's account and it was repayment for over payment...$85.  I can now pay my phone bill.  But not UVerse


Then I applied for several nanny positions, had an interview on Sat at 830 and i think it went well.  They live within biking distance which is so good for gas.  Lord you know that the $275 per week will be of much help and I can fill in the hours when I am not there.  I just ask that you give me this job .... you know I like these people and the kids are good and just up my alley..... I can ride my bike over there....  it will be good structure for me and a routine ....
and of course I will need to spread the money as wisely as I can.


really Shepherd I am counting on this job....i so do not want to cry again tonight and be way depressed.
I dont mean to tell you what is good for me, but I have thot on this and the positives out weigh the negatives.
"we will see"

Jesus I have spent dozens of hours looking for a job and dozens of hours hopeless and depressed.....I cannot go on like this.....
My internet will get turned off March 10...in 3 days.  185.00
My cell can get turned off momentarily if I don't pay 107.17....I have until 7pm tonight before I report to them from where the money comes from

I have no money and I do not know what to do.
How can I get a job without my phone or internet??

please, what do I do??

I cant help but say that with all my leaning and my trusting, my Shepherd doesnt seem to care that on March 10 my Internet is cut off, my cell phone goes later and Steve will soon find out I have not paid my condo fees.

I sit here for hours, yesterday for 7 hrs, applying, looking for jobs.  I have $50 Cheryl gave me to watch her dogs for a week, but afraid to put even $10 in my gas tank least I need it.

Why after 2 months of putting in countless applications, can I not get called for interviews.  I got called for an interview at the Marriott for a server and I just know they will hire younger people who do not need a job as badly as I do.  I actually told them I am in need of any type of job and thot it would be fun.  Even applied for house keeping.  

In 3 weeks, I have gotten dressed and showered once. I had 4 days worth of migraines. I look for jobs and cry and go back to bed.  This is NOT life, this is tolerating existence.

I saw today on Facebook that Chrissy is miserable.....  I actually said that you Lord.  I sent her a brief note in a card with the receipts.  One that she owned me $1000.  I wrote to her:  

Dearest Chrissy,

I am enclosing the receipt for the $200.00 given to me Feb 2 for 2 MD appointments.

I also enclose a receipt for the other $1000 for the money I requested you hold, because if I put it in the bank, the IRS would take it.

I am wondering,  how many times have you paid your other friends for cleaning your house for you?  I am wondering if you should have paid for all the work I did for you on Thanksgiving?

Friends do friends favors just because they are friends and for no other reason.

I tried to be non threatening and kind but very truthful.  Cheryl said she doesnt care, I will never see the money and she only took from me.

The cruise should have been an eye opener about her true character.  I so regret whining to mom about how un helpoing and how unthoughtful Chrissy was during the cruise..... mum never said a word.Never complained or anything.   I took the cards Chrissy gavve me down...took her pics with mum down.

I have no one from whom I can borrow money. 

I know I am crying out to my Shepherd as well as writing to you

Psalm 23:3a

Speaking of Himself as our Shepherd, Jesus said, "...the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out" (John 10:3). He intimately knows your name!


The Lord IS my Shepherd, I have no want of anything
He MAKES me lied down in green pastures
He LEADS me besides quiet relaxing waters.
He RESTORES my soul


AMP He refreshes and restores my life.


refresh = to reinvigorate, to revive
fresh = vigorous, strong, not faded or worn out, made or received anew


So when my Shepherd refreshes me he gives me what I need to be strong to be revived in spirit ~~ so I am not worn out.


restore = to give back, to put back to an original state, to put back into service


So when my Shepherd restores me, he puts me back into service


I need to be restored and refreshed.  When I get up in the morning, the first thing I want to do is to go back to bed.....for 2 weeks now.  I cannot keep doing this.