Am sitting here with the ipod on, writing Matt before it leaves my brain and F. Ortega comes on, NIGHT OF YOUR RETURN, and i cry for mum....to see her and dad....and how peacefully mom went and how I miss her.....  She is happy and strong and beautiful and i want her back...how selfish of me..... maybe this is the night of my Shepherd's return for me . . .  i wouldnt have to go through all this stuff about a job, all the debts to pay . . .  but I have a feeling He'd wait till I could declare bankruptcy so Steven and Don didn't get the stuff thrown at them.

Am going to change my beneficiary to Stephanie and my POA to Stephanie; medical and financial (along with her Matt).

If serious things happen between me and my Matt...then it will be him with Steph medical POA.

I could play this song all day long.  Will get the words when in WiFi.

I want to read TRAVELING LIGHT.  The burden of weariness before I go to bed....

I am struggling with smoking . . . please Shepherd this is a burden for me ~  I beg take it away !!

Jesus does not protect those He loves from bad things happening but uses bad things to fulfill His greater plan. He is glad, not that we suffer, but that we have the opportunity to grow in our faith and display His glory, which is the fulfillment of the very purpose for our existence. Don't settle for less than more!

What is Jesus calling us into? No matter what it is, or what fearful storm it is wrapped in, remember when Jesus says "come," He will always be watching and holding us up. Knowing that, are you ready to grow? Then step out of the boat and come to Him! 


all of our righteousness, including the very best things we ever do, are so permeated with sin and selfishness that they are like filthy rags in God's sight 
(Isa. 64:6). But at the Cross, Jesus gave us His perfect, spotless robe of righteousness and took our filthy garments of sin in exchange (Phil. 3:9). On Judgment Day, you and I will be dressed in His righteousness before God because He wore the filthy garments of our sin. We will be clothed because He was stripped!

Yes I will rise

Out of these ashes rise

From this trouble I have found

And this rubble on the ground

I will rise

Cause He Who is in YOU

Is greater than you will ever be

And You will riseI love the lyrics from Shawn McDonald’s song, "Rise."

Glorious Day

Casting Crowns

from the album Until The Whole World Hears

Buy on Amazon | iTunes

Play sample

One day when Heaven was filled with His praises
One day when sin was as black as could be
Jesus came forth to be born of a virgin
Dwelt among men, my example is He
Word became flesh and the light shined among us
His glory revealed

(Chorus)
Living, He loved me
Dying, He saved me
Buried, He carried my sins far away
Rising, He justified freely forever
One day He's coming
Oh glorious day, oh glorious day

One day they led Him up Calvary's mountain
One day they nailed Him to die on a tree
Suffering anguish, despised and rejected
Bearing our sins, my Redeemer is He
Hands that healed nations, stretched out on a tree
And took the nails for me

Chorus

One day the grave could conceal Him no longer
One day the stone rolled away from the door
Then He arose over death He had conquered
Now He's ascended, my Lord evermore
Death could not hold Him, the grave could not keep Him
From rising again

Chorus

One day the trumpet will sound for His coming
One day the skies with His glories will shine
Wonderful day, my Beloved One, bringing
My Savior, Jesus, is mine

White Flag

Chris Tomlin

from the album Passion: White Flag

The battle rages on
As storm and tempest roar
We cannot win this fight
Inside our rebel hearts
We're laying down our weapons now

We raise our white flag
We surrender
All to You
All for You

We raise our white flag
The war is over
Love has come
Your love has won

Here on this Holy ground
You made a way for peace
Laying your body down
You took our rightful place
This freedom song is marching on

We lift the cross
Lift it high lift it high

ElLois,  I hear your agony.  I so wish I could help.  I think about you often and pray for you even more.  God is with you.  He knows what is happening and why.  Cling to Him.  Cling. Cling. Cling!  That is all you can do right now.  He promises that He will take care of us, be with us, meet our needs and that we can rely on Him.  Ask Jesus to show you where He is with you right now.  He is the only way that you will survive this.  I've been keeping my ears open for any jobs that I find out about that I could tell you about.  God knows.  God cares.  God cries with you.  You are so precious to Him.  He hasn't left you......Sheri