Monday, June 21, 2010

4 powerful words

Hi ElLois

May our God be praised for I never new how to get in contact with you
and I thought that connection was lost for ever. I am still at Karanda
and I am able to email now on my own because my son set me up. My
husband died in 2005 and the children have grown up now and I have a
daughter in law and a grand son Tadiwa. We need to update each other
and I will be more than happy to do that. Karanda is pretty much the
same and the work continues and we have gone through a lot but the
Lord has been faithful in many ways. I have also adopted a son who is
turning 6 years in September. His name is Tapiwanashe Innocent
Chirindo.

I still love you.

Dorothy Chirindo

Friday, June 18, 2010

I wrote:
> Esther Betts is falling and I need God's strength and wisdom.
> Mom has Lewy Body Dementia, a combination of Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and
> all sorts of hallucinations. She also has many other severe medical
> issues.
> I have promised to care for her, at home, till she dies.
> I have been her constant caretaker since May of 09 and it is harder now
> more than ever.
> I cried my soul out to God holding mom's hands tonight asking him to be
> merciful and give both of us strength.
>
> Late last year, not knowing God's plan for mum, I asked her what would she
> like to do that she would like to do before she never has the chance. "Go
> on a cruise." At that time it all looked possible. So I placed our
> cruise with Max Lucado and Micheal W Smith July 11.
>
> Mom is in no condition to go, that I can fore see, at this point, and I
> NEED God's strenth to make a decision....which one? I do not know.
> In one of her more lucid moments, she said I must go on the cruise with
> her best friend, it is what she would like, but that is putting mom in
> respite and I will never forgive myself if she dies while I am gone,
> knowing this cruise was placed for HER.
>
> I have not worked this whole time and my unemployed is finished.
> Financially I have nothing. I lost my home to foreclosure when I moved in
> with mom.
>
> I am in no way as needy as many are..... my heart is opened and poured out
> for the World Vision kids I sponser, the needs of the totally hopeless,
> others have greater hardship and I feel no right to ask for any prayer at
> all.....I never share things so intimate but with mom I have no place to
> go but run into the arms of my loving Shepherd and as I opened email......
> my Lord said "share."
> graciously, ElLois Betts
>
They wrote:
Thank you for writing to the Haven Prayer Team. We care about you and
your request -- but more importantly God cares and He is listening to us
right now.

"Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live"
(Psalm 116:2).

What a wonderful reality for us to take into our hearts! Every time we
pray, the Lord is listening. He's lending us His ear, granting us His full
attention. He's poised to answer us whenever we call. We can be like
little children and talk to Him with uncomplicated simplicity about
anything we have on our hearts. We don't have to know how to pray, as if
prayer were some sort of skill we need to master. (Janet Morris, ANCHOR
5/16/19)

Let's pray together!

Dear Lord,
Thank you for listening to us today! Thank you that, because of Jesus'
life and death, we come to You as your children. Please work in ElLois and
Esther's life in a loving, amazing, powerful way. They need strength and
wisdom in making decisions. Provide for them financially. We are trusting
you. Please pour out your grace and mercy - and fill them with joy, peace
and love today. In the strong and powerful name of Jesus, Amen.

I hope you'll keep listening to Haven Today on your local radio station or
the internet at http://www.haventoday.org. You can listen to Charles
Morris anytime day or night by going to that website. Now you can even
request that the program be emailed to you each day.

I also want to encourage you to read Haven's daily devotional called
"Anchor" at http://www.haventoday.org/anchor.php. You can request the
booklet version or the email version.

Please keep in touch - and let us know how God answers our prayers!

Looking to Jesus,

Haven Prayer Team

core relationships

Becky wrote:
Some people on my team are growing in different directions, but that doesn't mean we can't stay together as a core, we can't afford to loose the base friendships that we've had for so long. Life is too short for anger and grudges. We have to apreciate people in our lives for who they are and the qualitiy they bring to us!

I wrote:
We have to apreciate people in our lives for who they are and the qualitiy they bring to us!

We begin by learning to accept our family, loving them for who they are and not wanting them to be something they are not.
Then it is easier through out our lives as we expand friendships and relationships.
... See More
ah yes, much more to say on this subject, maybe a "note" at some point.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Makios Phiri June 17 at 6:52am (I believe the minister of Kutenda EC)
By trying, you may fail others. By not, you fail yourself and you may never realize your full potential in the Kingdom of God.
Keep on trying.
You are in our prayers



Masakati,
The Lord only asks us to give our best. He knows the consequences if we fail and provides or disciplines.
I have failed much in my life, so much to regret related to disobedience to God.
But determination and will made be pick myself up and begin again.
I have failed others and God has punished/disciplined me.
I want to relize my totally full potential in the Kingdom of God...I desire it so. I will keep on trying.
My prayers as well.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

I woke at 2am to take mom's BS cause it has been crazy and she was cold and
not breathing.
I shook her and she took a deep breath and I cried and held her telling her
I thought she had died. She told me "I love you" so I slept with her cause
I was so afraid she'd die.
But I want her to die. She does not need to live like this !! Why God ??
!!!!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

deareast Shepherd,
she is ready
she is nigh

why do You linger?

cinderelli

there once was a woman, who lived in her anger,
she beat one son and scolded the other
the daughter she domestically slaved till she was bitter
the beaten son, laid on the slave
there once was a woman who looked the other way.

there once was an old woman who no one would care for
she ordered the slave even though she was married
till the slave found herself repeating the mother

there is an old woman who has 5 children
the husband tragically died,
she is now alone in her anger and quilt
the woman is bitter and old, dementia sets in
eating her mind and her heart, evil becometh

the son she ignored comes to visit out of lost love
the daughter is two faced and pretends to care
the youngest daughter is far away and shares
her toys with the woman for tis all they have in common

the youngest son really wants to care, to visit and help
but far away he lives, taking care of his own

now there is one daughter, let’s call her cinderelli
she toils in sadness that her hope is complete
all she wanted to do was to please this old woman

she was beaten, only trying to be good
one day finally taking her stand
never wanting to marry for she feared she would repeat
each old woman's selfish bad habits
cinderelli toils this old woman in health
a maid, a cook, laundress; self imposed caretaker
till the old woman passes

cinderelli many days counts the cost, her loss and her blessings
a submissive to the heart and very soul of her being
maybe a door mat, yet strong and determined
the old woman will not walk upon her
many times weeping the emotional pain cleansed

her friends are her treasure, acquaintance not
they remind her one day cinderelli will be gone
the wicked witch of the east, the one in the west
will be silenced forever, cinderelli is freed

An unexamined life is not worth living
~~Socrates

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Mom and I were sitting here...silent 
and I said, 
isn't it lonely without Danni?  
I cried so hard. 
Mum said yes.  
I can remember when she didn't want 
Jordan or Danni and now she is lonely as I am for them
Thanks ElLois for the update on your mom...I'm so glad that you finally have a name for what your mom has...I know it's been so frustrating for you and for her...sometimes it's harder for the one who's caring for the one with the illness...You have been such a rock ElLois...and I am so proud of you..I know it's been hard, but you have stuck with it and have not let others get you down. I will be praying...for you and for your mom...
I will see you on Tuesday morning...if I can get up on time, I'll be there by 9 or so...if not..by 10 for sure!!!
Love you girlfriend..
Cheryl Annie

I love you girlfriend.  It was ONLY God who brought you into my life.

letters to mom's "people"

Over the year, a slow, creeping "worm" was eating its way through mom's mind and body.  The symptoms have finally all been put together by the neurologist. We (mom and I) were wondering if she had Parkinson's; her cognition, thought processes and the frequent falls have been an ache that the pain in mom's body find unbearable, totally unbearable.   Several weeks go the hallucinations started, voices and delusions seemed to take over mom and only by God's grace and in the form of a blessing did we make it through. This is what I wrote to my siblings and several of mom's dear friends:
 
To make it short and sweet...... after seeing Dr Schneider (neurologist) today...
Mom does NOT have mild vascular dementia... she has Lewy Body Dementia.  http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/lewy-body-dementia/DS00795
Lewy body dementia shares characteristics with both Alzheimer's disease and Parkinson's disease. Like Alzheimer's, it causes confusion. Like Parkinson's, it can result in rigid muscles, slowed movement and tremors.
But the most striking symptom of Lewy body dementia may be its visual hallucinations, which can be one of the first signs of the disorder. Hallucinations may range from abstract shapes or colors to conversations with deceased loved ones.
Mom is right there.  This explains our assumptions of parkinsons, and this last week the hallucination delusions and confusion.
She is now on her starter pack of Aricept.
Then we went to the pain clinic.....
I will hold the Plavix for 7 days and then she will have epidural steriodal injections into her lower back. Hopefully 2 injections during June.  The CT Scan of her back showed a compresion fracture of L5.  If it gets to it, there is another procedure they can do to relieve the pain but that is way down the road and actually..... may never occur.
 
We sat in the car driving the other day and she asked, out of the blue, why doesnt God take me home?
 
 Our blessing??  Angel, mom's friend who use to live upstairs, came to visit on Sat and we had a long talk, a good one, she prayed with me as well as mom.  Her visit turned into 7 hours so I could get some sleep.
When I told Angel the newest news, she wrote back:
Well...my heart is both relieved and sickened at this diagnosis...first relieved because the strange conglomeration of symptoms have a name. After spending time with your mom, it was clear that she did NOT have MILD anything and that something was seriously wrong! In fact, Lewy Body actually popped into my head...but I thought 'well they would have diagnosed it if that is what it is'. ALso, in my experience with this dementia, it has a rapidly progressing course so she will probably get to Jesus sooner and not have to linger for years with dementia.
 
Sickened because this is a wicked form of dementia that I don't believe is deserving of your mom...or you. But one thing I do know is that God IS faithful and He loves you both  passionately. I will do my absolute best to be as physically supportive as I can but will be often lifting you both up in prayer.
 
Specifically mom needs God's intervention 1) easing the edge of the pain in her back and knees 2) the degenerating cognition, thought processing and hallucinations is halted (it will never improve at this point) by Aricept 3) God gives mom the desire of her heart, to go home.
 
To close I want to borrow the words of Matt Maher in "Hold Us Together" and slightly change them:
 
"God's love will hold us together
Make us a shelter to weather the storm
And I'll be my mother's keeper
So the whole world would know that we're not alone"

Saturday, June 5, 2010

leaning in the loving arms

Sheri was helpful...she congratulated me on my dependence on my Shepherd,

I just cannot get to caught up in frustration and let mom's illness irritate me.

I told her it was like taking care of a 3 yr old.

We talked about the cruise....Chrissy is asking not to work like if she were getting paid my Advantage.  This is a working vacation for her or she doesnt go, cause of the money I have spent on her to go.
Then Elizabeth would go, mom 2, and that would be good for me.

Just help me Shepherd say the right words and expidate the rest of the passports.
Written a few days ago..............
Hello brothers and sisters,
 
Who would like to hear the lastest news, diagnoses, etc
in regards to your mothers?
 
your seeeeeester.
 
 Steve asked first 
I would. :)
 then Becky
I would like to be informed of mom's news and diagnosis. Thqnk you.
 then Don
We would,  we would!
 Big Brother
I am sure when Grace is ready she will ask
 
 
The last week has been pure hell and I have documented everything in the calender book I have.
To make it short and sweet...... after seeing Dr Schneider (neurologist) today...
Mom does NOT have mild vascular dementia... she has Lewy Body Dementia.  http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/lewy-body-dementia/DS00795
 
Lewy body dementia shares characteristics with both Alzheimer's disease and Parkinson's disease. Like Alzheimer's, it causes confusion. Like Parkinson's, it can result in rigid muscles, slowed movement and tremors.
But the most striking symptom of Lewy body dementia may be its visual hallucinations, which can be one of the first signs of the disorder. Hallucinations may range from abstract shapes or colors to conversations with deceased loved ones.
Mom is right there.  This explains our assumptions of parkinsons, and this last week the hallucination delusions and confusion.
She is now on her starter pack of Aricept.
 
I will hold the Plavix for 7 days and then she will have epidural steriodal injections into her lower back.  (we went to the pain clinci today)  Hopefully 2 injections during June.  The CT Scan of her back showed a compresion fracture of L5.  If it gets to it, there is another procedure they cando to relieve the pain but that is way down the road and actually..... may never occur.
 
We sat in the car driving today and she asked, out of the blue, why doesnt God take me home?
 
Between mom and Becky, this has been a tough week and God will never give me more than I can bear.  Angel, mom's friend who used to live upstairs, came to visit on Sat and we had a long talk, a good one, she prayed with me as well as mom.  Her visit turned into 7 hours so I could get some sleep.
 
  No one has responded.  I hope Becky gets this disease since we are all now at risk for it.
 

encouragement


oh, my sister...as I read, I thought of Mark Schultz's song I Have Been There because I have. My mom did not live with me but should have had 24 hr care that she adamately refused and I was on pins and needles never knowing WHAT I would find when I arrived.I had to place her in the Lord's hands daily sometimes and like you, pray for more grace. God WILL give you the strength for this journey and I will pray for a fresh breath of His Spirit to flow over you and a great spirit of discernment and provision for you AND your mom.
See you Saturday!
AnGeL
Continued prayers flow your way, and we do trust God, for His perfect timing and all that He has in our days, for
today, tomorrow and eternity.
I can only imagine the stresses and give thanks for Angel too.  What a blessing to have that input and insight.
And as to families, well, some get it and some don't, right?
We pray and love them anyway.
Keep me posted and I will keep on praying, as yes, The Holy Spirit does keep us connected.
Mary
 Ellois, I know the feeling of being a caregiver, been there and done that.  So many people would say to me." " The Lord will onlygive you what you can take"  I thought if I heard that one more time, I would  scream.   Each morning I would think ,"What will today bring, how many falls will there be etc."  To this day I will not say that phrase to anyone.  The Lord does give us strength and somehow we get through the day but hearing it all the time seemed lile irony  at times so I just can`t say it     But this "ANGEL" came at the right time for you and hopefully you can get some answers from your dr.      Hope this week will be better for you both.      LOve and blessings, Margaret
               Keep me posted


Yes, El Lois, I am and will be praying and counting on His Love and Care for you as you go thro' these days.
Oh my, so much and more and more Carl's way of going to Glory is seen as a blessing for him and for us.
Yet, we miss them so, don't we?
Praying for your Mom and you  and your help and family too,
Carl's Mary

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Before I went into mom's I heard:

Sometimes you need to do it afraid.

God is not gonna make me do something He has not prepared me for.

Bring me to my knees Lord
I lay me down
Rid me of myself I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross
GOD  I canot do this myself of my own grace and strength....I am sobbing for your help and I need it.
as I go in there take over me and do it for me...i give up i just cannot do it anymore




845pm................. You are a merciful kind Shepherd