will need to edit this.....  but Sheri said something along the lines of God cannot stop giving and giving what we need.... he feels each emotion as we feel it, and does empathize perfectly

like when mum and dad could not give me what i needed, God can and I must know that from my heart and head

i am am to be IN God...being, its not about doing

still a dream, still a believer

I just felt your hand on my back when I left.................. on my other blog and started to cry

I AM WITH YOU LO

I need to say to you Shepherd....

Sometimes I just want to start over
'Cause everything looks like a wreck
And I need the courage to carry on
'Cause I can't see what's ahead

And there are places I've wished I could be
Battles I've wanted to win
Dreams that have slipped through my hands
I may never get back again

But I'd rather speak honestly
And wear a tattered heart on my sleeve
'Cause in the middle of my broken dreams
Redemption is here

And I'm still a dreamer, a believer
Oh, I lost my faith in so many things
But I STILL believe in YOU
'Cause You are the answer, the Redeemer

obedience and grace

obedience is how we want to in act in response to God's amazing grace.

undo me

I don’t really worship these day
I don’t really stand up to praise you with songs
Or prayers or actions
or with anything
I am full of all the right moves
I am full of all the right words
I am full of all the right religion
But it is all just illusion
I am really
Lonely
Lost
Calloused
Jaded
Cynical
Too religious
Too realistic
and well really just to lazy
to worship you anymore
I have lost my first love
I have lost the joy of your presence
But most of all I have lost the fear of your glory

Father I need to see you again
Like Isaiah I want to stand in awe of your glory
To fall down at your feet
To come face to face with your
Perfection,
Radiance,
Goodness,
Holiness,
Awesomeness
I want to stand before you and see you for who you are
and me for who I am
I want to be undone

I want to know me for who I really am
I want to see the depths of my heart
And know that you are the only way
You are the only truth
You are the only life
I want to see me and understand
What it really must have taken for you to
Love me
Care for me
See me
Speak to me
Want me
Communicate with me
Die for me
Die for me
Die for me

Lord, I want to stand in that place where all I can see is your glory
And my sin
Because in that place I can’t help but worship you.
Lord let me come undone
Undo my heart
Lord, undo my heart
break down these walls that I love so much
No, wait don’t,
I’m scared I don’t know if I can handle this
don’t
But I can’t live this way anymore
I can’t stand here in this half-life
this going through the motions life
this not really alive life
Father, I need you so come in and do what you must
Cut out the tumor on my heart
Break down the walls that I love
Lord let me come undone
Undo my heart
let me worship you again

*Blake Williams

Am venturing with Sheri into the land of guided prayer...to find my Shepherd.....

This prayer by Blake sums it all up.

She told me last week that she feels that she believes I will come to some point where I will not NEED Matt but need my Shepherd so much, all other things pale in comparison...

this excites yet saddens me because I so want Matt or someone much like him. Its like I have gone through so much in regards to men that I am not sure I will ever have redemption and find my one true love.

Please Jesus, my Saviour, my soul's redemption, please comfort me with the fact that I can have you and another.

Afraid to love
Something that could break
Could I move on
If you were torn away?
And I'm so close to what I can't control
I can't give you half my heart
And pray He makes you whole
(Chorus)
You're gonna have all of me
You're gonna have all of me
'Cause you're worth every falling tear
You're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love
Even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts
But giving you all of me is where I'll start
I won't let sadness steal you from my arms
I won't let pain keep you from my heart
I'll trade the fear of all that I could lose
For every moment I share with you
Chorus
Heaven brought you to this moment, it's too wonderful to speak
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me
So let me recklessly love you, even if I bleed
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me