http://worriersanonymous.org/Share/Christmas/Holynite.htm

The Celtic women sing O Holy Night...truly awesome !!

today it is Christmas...................

We had a very lovely time with Zach and Arezou while Becky snoozed and talked in her sleep.....*laughing
I truly believe that reconnecting with them is due to Sally Ann........thank you Lord for a small rescued kitty that needed them and me.

 I am truly blest to have ones who love me and support me...Carl's Mary, Steven, Amelia Jean (bless her young woman heart), Cheryl, Chrissy, Yolanda, Sheri ~~ I don't give thanks and praise enough for them !

Such support in getting rid of Tim as well...unbelieveable.

Just wish I knew how sick Matt is and what has happened.

Oh Shepherd, make me know where I belong.... in your arms resting and to find you when I need you and when I just need to belong to someone greater than myself and all the situations I find difficult, unsurmountable and when I panic...... it is you I need, nothing else...... but a hug will always do !  :>)

Please give safety to Cheryl and Larry as they drive.

Loved ones close to our hearts
and strangers in lands afar
Together share in the joy
Emmanuel
To tell the world
...He has come to dwell
The time is near
With one voice
Let the world rejoice

Christmas time is HERE. 

 http://worriersanonymous.org/Share/Christmas/Holynite.htm

I will be seeing Sheri shortly and I am so sad I cannot believe it....I just want to be in a ball under the sheets and cry.  I asked Gracie a favor, to come take care of mum if I should go see Matt.... I would spend time teaching her and this was her reply:

I really would love to spend time with Mom!

You have asked me for a favor.  At this point in our relationship, I don’t feel I owe you any favors. I choose Not have 'personal' contact with you. This past year was rough, and I choose not to go there again, it would be best for me if you weren’t there.

 

So this is my proposal;

I would love to spend a week with Mom,

I have no medical training, but I can care to regular daily items. I am sure medical professional care could be arranged for this time frame accordingly with Medicare and BCBS. Mom’s Dr.’s should be able to help here.

 You would take your time off, and the professional company or visiting nurse, would be able to show me how I can/will help Mom.

 

The time frame that works best for us as a working couple, is from February 20^th till March 11th. This gives you three weeks to choose from.

 

If you would send me the information and confirmation of the company you will use, plus your travel confirmation by January 7th.

-a full two weeks- then we also can make our arrangements in a timely manner.

 

Please take your time off, I would love to spend time with Mom.

...me

Apparently she told mum on the phone what she was telling me in email.
I was angry with only one part...she wants nothing to do with me.  She cannot even forgive for the sake of mum.  Mom on the other hand had nothing to say about the "daughters"....silence.  She wouldn't even speak freely on the phone cause I was there.  She has no idea what she speaks about in regards Medicare and Anthem smart value.  Ignorant piece of shit.  It took Yolanda to say to me obviously she is no one you have to have in your life to worry about...you are doing a good job with mum.

Back to where I started, no one to take careof mum so I can have a time to myself...more than a day or half a day and even then I am running errands pertaining to mum.

I would LOVE a day to go to the nail place and get a manicure/pedicure...that would be me time.  Has not happened yet.  Today will take my tears to Sheri.

I feel like God is slapping me in the face and saying something.....why?  What have I done to deserve this from Grace and my family in general?

hope

Darkness can be frightening. In Isaiah 9:2 the word translated as darkness is the picture of blindness. The "land of the shadow of death" is from the Hebrew word meaning very thick darkness or terror. Those do not sound like pleasant places to be, but they picture our world of sin and hopeless blackness.

Several years ago our family traveled in Germany and stood on the cold, gray pavement of Dachau, one of the Nazi concentration camps. Over the gates were written the words used to describe hell in Dante's Inferno: "All hope abandon ye who enter in." Utter despair must have filled the atmosphere, for the residue of it still remained.

In the very beginning, darkness covered the face of the earth, but God pushed it away when He created light. Sin and death are dark because they are separated from God, but He has pushed them away, giving us light and hope. Isaiah points us to the only hope we can have of breaking the suffocating darkness of sin - Jesus. Praise God that the Light of the World had come!

I have read so many quotes about HOPE . . .  "once you choose hope anythings possible" ...... but it is not true without the light that removes the blackness, the utter disparaging black hole of darkness.

humility and redemption

God did not need fanfare to redeem us. Choosing for the Savior to arrive in the lowliness of Bethlehem's leftover accommodations showed that. Could there have been a more humble way for Mary's miracle baby to arrive? When God sent His Son, we saw the full scope of His love through Jesus' humility. Only true humility would empty Himself of all that was rightfully His, wash His disciples' feet, hang on the cross for the sin of a thief next to Him. And only true meekness would do that for you and me.

the meaning of "el"

Unlike today, names in Bible times told a story or made a statement. Names were usually combinations of words that created an intended picture, and Immanuel was no different. Im is the Hebrew word meaning "with" or "beside," while the word el means "God." Immanuel is "God with us." But the word picture of el is something with mighty strength - like a strong, supporting pillar or an oak tree. In fact, the root of this word actually means "twisted" - like a twisted tree trunk. That implies unbreakable, mighty strength.

When we feel weak emotionally or spiritually, we need to look at Jesus and remember He came to show us that God is our mighty strength. Though just a helpless baby as He entered our world, He contained all the power in the universe as God. We can trust Him to carry us. 

tired

Just tired and exhausted.  Finally got transportation for mom and it is still not much easier.  When Yo or Chrissy come I run around town like a chicken with my head cut off and miss stuff on my list (even) and get no time for me on those days.  Well ~~~  my time with Sheri is sacred, that is for sure.

I loathe snow.

Matt Hughes.  OK   *chuckling

I believe Tim realizes what is happening, but I must tell him to his face...none of the phone stuff/email, that has no integrity to it. 
When there is no trust, there is no relationship.

No $ yet, but will pay bills with taxes out in 2011. 

I need your help my Shepherd for my tax situation and my school situation .....I cannot cont to procrastinate.

Please help with motivation like you did a few weeks ago.