why?

why Shepherd?  why is she so selfish and ugly and still plays her games of attempting to guilt me?
we could have fun in some small way and yet she sits on purpose.
one of these days i will not hear her feeble cry which she says is so loud and yet she hears me crying at night.
will danni alarm me when I have fallen exhausted to sleep or will i be punished for not hearing and have guilt forever for not hearing like when i fell exhaustedly asleep when daddy spent his last night in the hospital and i should have been there.

why are there ALWAYS regrets????

i have no place but willing to be by your side and yet I fell as if I am only longing to be under the tree sitting in your arms............i desperately need your arms.