dearest Mary.....
It has been 2 full and busy days with one left.......  I realized I had NOT put into effect somethings in mom's TRUST.....
 I contacted the attorney and the financial lady..... both of which helped realize what I specifically needed to do and by tomorrow afternoon I will have all things done.

The hospice nurse is putting mum on a "daily watch" as she feels, after todays visit, she will pass as soon as I tell mum I am finished, she knows I have done what I needed as pr her wish and I will be ok.

Steve (brother in MI) told mum today he will make sure I am taken care of and that he loved me and would help me in any way he could....... he wanted mum to know that.

I cannot tell mum I am ready for her to pass until tomorrow evening and at that point I hope she realizes I truly have done as she has desired and give her peace .....and if it were her waiting for me to let go.... I am ready.  

Sister Becky has been very supportive in the last week and did tell me today when she stopped briefly that I have done a great job with mom and she is sorry I have not heard it before today.

My therapist told me I have really attached to mum in a way that I did not expect to and it will be difficult for me to be not so dependent on anyone after she is gone.......  when mom was "alone" after dad passed, she kept herself very busy (and bossy.....*smiles) ....... that is not my personality......so being ready not to care for anyone is gonna be difficult.

am going to cry with my head between His shoulders.