Are you overlooking the fact that Jesus has drawn near to you? Yes
Are you blinded to His presence by your own tears?   Yes
Are you deafened to His gentle voice by your own accusations?  Yes

Blasted by my own words of self condemnation and shame and guilt.
My tears flow from my soul and I cannot see Him through the wall of tears.
My Shepherd is near always, it is I who does not lean in.

Lean = to rely on for support.

Lean not on my own understanding.  not to be inclined to think my understanding will support me during the storm, the fire, the flood, the tears, the anxiety, the debt collectors, the condo assoc and of course Steve.