On Wed I read, I ". . .to see Jesus."
"Have you noticed how easy it is to become distracted from our first priority?
How we need the passion behind the words of John 12:21: "Sir, we would like to see Jesus"! I taped a copy of that verse to the pen holder on my desk, facing me, as a daily reminder to not be sidetracked with non-essentials. You may be trying to find your way through life and all of its clutter. What you really need is to see Jesus. Nail these words to your own spirit, remembering that Jesus' greatest priority, even as the nails held Him to the cross, is you!!"

After reading I ask him for a sign of some sort.  A rainbow appearedin the sky soon after.  I thought . . .  he did hear me.

Thursday and yesterday in my darkness, after applying for disability, I really doubted his care of me, his provision.  I asked for a rainbow.  Nothing, or I didntwait long enough.

Today, I walked out with the dogs. . . . nothing in the sky when suddenly a vivid rainbow appeared, wider than on Wed.

Do you believe Me?  I heard.  Yes I do Lord.

Do you TRUST Me?  I murmured about this for a few moments, arguing.
Do you trust me now? I heard. Yes I trust You, I finally answered.

I realized I am not the only one who is going through the doubt that God will provide so I asked that others would see it and trust.

Lord, is it too muchto askf ora nother?  I waited.  Another rainbow appeared.  Assurance that I can believe and trust in Him.

I wasnt hearing music just lost in my thoughts.
I walked inside and heard "He's alive ! I want to thank you, thank you thank you. . . . ." by Peter Furler.  My favorite song right now.

I do not know if this means I will get disability, but I know He will provide and tht I can trust Him and believe Him.

Yesterday afternoon after going to my safe and quiet place with Him, crying out, I asked to feel his breath upon my face and neck.  I doubted as there was no breeze out here.  But a gentle whisperof a breeze, a definite movingtouvhed upon my check and neck.  I felt his breath upon me.

Sheri had written to me on Wed . . . "hang on. Lean into your Shepherd.  Right now only for comfort in the darkness. Lean on Him so close that he can breath for you."

Sometimesthe darkness chockes me and yes, I must lean in and let him breath for me and find comfort, even in the darkness.

But to feel His breath?   When I asked?  If for no other reason to believe and trust, it is because I know he is with me and loves me, feels with me and is here at all times; even if I doubt.  And I must go to Him even if for nothing but comfort in those feelings for He too feels with me.

Safe at last in the father's love.