Psalm 51

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1 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: According to the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, And cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions; And my sin is ever before (you and) me. 

4 Against thee, thee only , have I sinned, And done that which is evil in thy sight; That thou mayest be justified when thou speakest, And be clear when thou judgest.

5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity; And in sin did my mother conceive me. 
6  Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts; And in the hidden part thou wilt make me to know wisdom. My truth lies within my actions.  When greatly depressed I can do nothing, save breath and eat.  When overwhelmed, it is enough that I breath and clean up so I can do what is necessary.

7 Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

8 Make me to hear joy and gladness, That the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.

9 Hide thy face from my sins, And blot out all mine iniquities.

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; And renew a right spirit within me.

11 Cast me not away from thy presence; And take not thy holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; And uphold me with a willing spirit.

13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; And sinners shall be converted unto thee.

14 Deliver me from blood guiltiness, (am sure he references Ahab who who had murdered) O God, thou God of my salvation; And my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.

15 O Lord, open thou my lips; And my mouth shall show forth thy praise.

16 For thou delightest not in sacrifice; else would I give it: Thou hast no pleasure in burnt-offering.

17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: A broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

I know it sounds like whining and excuses, but you do know my inner parts Almighty God; You created me just the way I am, emotionally and mentally; psychologically as well.  I am able know and have a more willing spirit.  You know how I fail and why I fail.  I do not like failure, I despise myself when in it and cannot seem to stop the quilt of it.

I fear going to prison or worse yet, not ever being able to repay anyone back with the amount I get monthly.

I must plead my case to Mr. Redmann and I feel like a liar doing so again.  Give me the proper tone and words.

Dear Mr. Redmann,

I am begging you NOT to take the only income I have, $1200/month that seems to cover my bills, groceries and some medications.

My doctor has been working with me since the end of December to prevent what happened half of Jan and Feb to me.  I laid flat in bed unable to get up.

I also found out during this time that I had Parkinson's.  My medication list is growing to the point that I must decide which meds I do not need so I can afford what I must have to have a healthy heart and brain (psychologically).

I have been working on assembling my stuff and have promised my attorney to get them to her no latter than April 8, now that I can practice like a human being.

I do wish you knew me personally to know that I have been ill, something I just cannot myself but with my doctor and therapist.

I do NOT want to claim bankruptcy and thus have paid many bills off, costing me so much, mostly for health and money I  have borrow from people so that I might survive after my mum died.

I took care of her 24/7, loosing my own home to foreclosure in the process, becoming increasingly less healthy myself.  Cardiac and Psychologically, which I finally had the chance to begin to correct last August.

I beg you to cease and desist to take all my monthly income from me.

I am hoping to begin once again at Dressbarn (if they will have me back as they stated, when healthier) as another source of income to repay some of what I owe.  Just like you garnered last summer (2012).

I had to quit there because I was so ill.   

I did call you Friday in a panic, as I was on my way out  to pay some major bills, including property taxes.  My panic and anxiety cripples me.

Most Sincerely,

ElLois Betts

ellois.b@gmail.com

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Consider the incredible love

that the Father has shown on us

allowing us to be called

Children of God . . .

Grace is a river, running underneath my fears..