http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm-njPYvj4Q


Saw Sheri today..... brought sadness and weariness with me and the words of a song I heard this am........

"When you feel like youre alone in your sadness and it seems like no one in this world cares....
and you want to get away from the madness...
you call my name, i'll be there...

....its been so long since you felt like you were loved so what went wrong...
you know there is a place where you belong, in my arms....

Call my name, say it now
I want you to never doubt the love I have for you is so alive."

We discussed Tim a tad and how unemotionally attached he was and how much healthier I am without his weight around my neck.

I told I have been faithful in communicating with Matt, but he has not reciprocated and still looks..........
She brought up his age....

She brought up relocation and how I felt about it and she ended the topic by saying I have "depth" and "intensity" "ready for a committed relationship" and that I am "more than ready" to leave this place once mum is gone.

No one has described me like that.... yes I do want to hold deep conversations with my lover, to be able to share the great love I have stored for all these years with someone who is totally into me.............

I am weary and sad from the waiting and the longing, desiring and the looking.

I had my normal cry and went out a better person, loving more of me than I had going in.
The radio went on and moments later I heard...........

"He cries in the corner where nobody sees
He’s the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night, “Dear God won’t you please
Could you send someone here who will love me?”

Who will love me for me
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means

Her office is shrinking a little each day
She’s the woman whose husband has run away
She’ll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner
Then he would’ve stayed
And she says…

Who will love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love, what love really means

He’s waiting to die as he sits all alone
He’s a man in a cell who regrets what he’s done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
“Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home”
Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said

“I know you’ve murdered and I know you’ve lied
I have watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you’ll listen, I’ll tell you that I...”

I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love
The love that you never knew"
(JJ Heller)

.... I had to pull over and grieve cry, pull myself together and tell myself...today I have done something for myself, just me and now I go to buy my new cookware. If I do not do something for me, just because I deserve it, no one else will.

Will share with Matt