a journey to be embraced totally by my Father....
a soul's journey into God's embrace...................
I am afraid....I am terrified that I will not get what I have so longed for and it doesnt seem to be coming on my own power...and it never came in God's power..... there is always something wrong with me as to why no one loves me....
I feel unloveable and make myself that way because I am so fucking scared to be truly loved by another....
I feel as if this is my ONLY chance in life to be sincerely happy is to journey into the arms of my Shepherd and put EVERYTHING else behind me and never have the love of a man.....
I am scared..... I know what it means.... forsaking all things....
I am at a point in my life right now where I do find myself looking into the core of me and am needing answers that only God's plan for me can give. I have said if I am to walk alone, I will not be scared of it, but you see, I really am scared. And that is NOT a burden I wish to put on any man.
I want a man to freely take me and love me and really want me. I am a sweet yet complicated woman ... I adore certain aspects of sexual D/s and I adore serving, helping, doing...submission and surrender is in my nature, I just must wait upon God to give me His One for me..............
THAT IS MY SOUL'S JOURNEY.
I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn.
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