Am sitting here with the ipod on, writing Matt before it leaves my brain and F. Ortega comes on, NIGHT OF YOUR RETURN, and i cry for mum....to see her and dad....and how peacefully mom went and how I miss her.....  She is happy and strong and beautiful and i want her back...how selfish of me..... maybe this is the night of my Shepherd's return for me . . .  i wouldnt have to go through all this stuff about a job, all the debts to pay . . .  but I have a feeling He'd wait till I could declare bankruptcy so Steven and Don didn't get the stuff thrown at them.

Am going to change my beneficiary to Stephanie and my POA to Stephanie; medical and financial (along with her Matt).

If serious things happen between me and my Matt...then it will be him with Steph medical POA.

I could play this song all day long.  Will get the words when in WiFi.

I want to read TRAVELING LIGHT.  The burden of weariness before I go to bed....

I am struggling with smoking . . . please Shepherd this is a burden for me ~  I beg take it away !!