I cant help but say that with all my leaning and my trusting, my Shepherd doesnt seem to care that on March 10 my Internet is cut off, my cell phone goes later and Steve will soon find out I have not paid my condo fees.

I sit here for hours, yesterday for 7 hrs, applying, looking for jobs.  I have $50 Cheryl gave me to watch her dogs for a week, but afraid to put even $10 in my gas tank least I need it.

Why after 2 months of putting in countless applications, can I not get called for interviews.  I got called for an interview at the Marriott for a server and I just know they will hire younger people who do not need a job as badly as I do.  I actually told them I am in need of any type of job and thot it would be fun.  Even applied for house keeping.  

In 3 weeks, I have gotten dressed and showered once. I had 4 days worth of migraines. I look for jobs and cry and go back to bed.  This is NOT life, this is tolerating existence.

I saw today on Facebook that Chrissy is miserable.....  I actually said that you Lord.  I sent her a brief note in a card with the receipts.  One that she owned me $1000.  I wrote to her:  

Dearest Chrissy,

I am enclosing the receipt for the $200.00 given to me Feb 2 for 2 MD appointments.

I also enclose a receipt for the other $1000 for the money I requested you hold, because if I put it in the bank, the IRS would take it.

I am wondering,  how many times have you paid your other friends for cleaning your house for you?  I am wondering if you should have paid for all the work I did for you on Thanksgiving?

Friends do friends favors just because they are friends and for no other reason.

I tried to be non threatening and kind but very truthful.  Cheryl said she doesnt care, I will never see the money and she only took from me.

The cruise should have been an eye opener about her true character.  I so regret whining to mom about how un helpoing and how unthoughtful Chrissy was during the cruise..... mum never said a word.Never complained or anything.   I took the cards Chrissy gavve me down...took her pics with mum down.

I have no one from whom I can borrow money. 

I know I am crying out to my Shepherd as well as writing to you